Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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