mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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