Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
