Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My cat gives me a boner
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize