it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize