I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
