Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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