Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
