so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
