we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
