I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
