take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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