Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
