This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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