Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
