Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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