Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
