She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
