My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
