she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This baby is an asshole
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
