Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
