I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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