How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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