Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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