i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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