He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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