pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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