I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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