I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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