What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He shit in the fireplace
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
