Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
