Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
