i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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