We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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