we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you're hired as official boob wrangler
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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