The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
