forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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