i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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