I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
