how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
