The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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