Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
