My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When are your genitals available?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
