these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
