Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
