omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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