If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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