What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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