Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
