No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
