Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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