the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
