"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
