honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
