I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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