Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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