You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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