If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And then he peed in my hair
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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