i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
