I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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