we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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