I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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