The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
