my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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