just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
