i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
