There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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