no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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