I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
