I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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