You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
