stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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