Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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