just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
