walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
