Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
