Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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