I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
