does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
