Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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