We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
