the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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